Starting Over

So.  Whilst on maternity leave with B I have been made redundant.  I loved my job.  I loved the people I worked with, but these things happen.  I started to look around and it became clear that there was not part time work that a) was even vaguely similar to what I had been doing for the last ten years and b) close to paying the childcare costs for two little people.

Without getting into the several rants I had at anyone who would listen about how we are excluding women from the workforce and that I should be able to have some time with my children and work, therefore contributing the economy, as that will only fire me up again.  Safe to say it makes me very cross and more than a little sad.

Suffering from PND this felt like a final nail in my ‘pre Mummy’ identity gone. Bella had been put down, I didn’t have a job to go back to, I felt I no longer ‘contributed’ to the family pot.  I didn’t know what to do, the prospect of working evenings and weekends so Laurence could watch the children saddened me, but seemed the only option.  I had no confidence in the fuzz I called a brain working at its new, sleep deprived state.

So it seemed, it was time to take the future in my own hands.  With some serious encouragement and points in the right direction from an inspiring WAHM Mum (Jennifer J who runs the amazing Little T’s textiles and haberdashery – check her out) I decided to see if I have what it takes to join the ranks of these amazing women juggling running their own businesses with caring for children.

With absolutely no creative or craft skills, I can’t even colour in the lines I knew what I could offer, something I am good at. Admin! You may love to paint, or knit or sew.  I love a good spreadsheet and a well ordered filing system.  I love research, I love helping and organising.  I miss the validation of being a vital cog in a machine.  For the first time in a long time I could feel the fires starting to burn and the excitement grow within me.

I spent a lot of time reading, making sure I was happy with what I was doing. I spent FAR too long trying not to use the first business name that came into my mind. Which was a pointless endeavour as I ended up using it anyway. So here I am, on my first day of trading as B.E Administered. Terrified and excited and actually just a little bit proud.  Full of cold, on 3 hours sleep but I am here, I am doing and I can say, I got this.

I would love to hear your views on returning to work post baby/babies.  Have you gone back to your old job? Have you struggled with finding work to fit around your new commitments? Are you a WAHM? Would love to know more.






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